Six years ago today my life was unwelcomely and irrevocably changed. Adrian and I were told that we would never have children naturally. The day before, my dad had been called Home to Glory.
For a long time I was stunned and grieved – grieved for the loss of my dad, grieved for the children we would never have, for the grandchildren we could never know.
But God was good through it all. And if you’re in a similar situation, He will be good to you too. You will get through it. ‘…And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; when I awake, I am still with You.’
As I was praying with a good friend from church on Monday evening this week, we specifically asked the Lord to heal me from the pain of losing Two and Three. Although it’s not quite as raw as it was, it’s still painful at times.
As we prayed together, Una leaned forward and said: ‘I really feel the Lord asking you to give the little ones to Him, and picture yourself handing them over. You’ve never really done that, have you? I feel the Lord saying it’s time now.’
With the odd tear leaking from under my eyelids, I prayed in my heart: ‘Lord, they’re Yours,’ and pictured myself literally handing Two and Three over to Him. And amazingly, for the first time I could imagine them both skipping happily in that meadow, holding on to the Lord’s hands. And yes, they were wearing dungarees! It wasn’t a vision, but picturing them in my head as I handed them over to Him for safe keeping was so helpful and so special.
If you know the Lord, why not hand your little one(s) over to Him for safe keeping? You may be amazed at the results.
I would love to know if you find this helpful at my email address.
A Christian called Robert Robinson had this inscribed on the gravestone of a child he had lost:
Bold infidelity, turn pale and die,
Beneath this stone an infant’s ashes lie –
Say, is it lost or saved?
If death’s by sin, it sinned, for it lies here.
If heaven’s by works, in heaven it can’t appear.
O reason, who depraved!
Revere the sacred page – the knot’s untied;
It died, for Adam sinned;
It lives, for Jesus died.