This time three years ago I lost Two and Three. I’d carried them for less than two weeks but I still loved them and prayed for them. The pain today is as real – just not as acute – as it was three years ago. Still that sense of loss, that cold, empty feeling in my tummy. I do wonder if it will ever really get any easier and less raw?
As I drove home from work today I was listening to some Christian music. One of the songs (by Newsboys) is called Blessed be Your Name. The chorus is taken from something Job in the Bible said when he’d had disaster after disaster – he lost his property, his livelihood, all of his children and his health:
The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.
When I lost Two and Three, I could identify with Job – the Lord gave, and He took away. Blessed be His name. And even though it hurts – and if things had turned out differently I could have had a couple of redheaded toddlers getting under my feet every day – I still say with all my heart those words. God knows what He is doing, even though I don’t know why.